Hi
I decided to explore this community as I’ve finally decided, at 38, to embrace my strong submissive tendencies after being in the closet for so long.
I was raised very much with the notion that through the patriarchy is the way things should be run. The men were always put on pedestals (especially those with a military background) and were considered right in their views and beliefs. I’m someone who’s always preferred ‘order’ in my life and feel most comfortable following orders/instructions. It was only as I started to make my own way in the world that I realised most people (read: women) are horrified by the notion that men could be seen as superior. I did look into the whole subject of feminism that most women seemed to worship and I felt no kinship with any of it. Although I am educated to degree level, I was never really invested in my education. I just wanted to submit to a man and live my life.
After several attempts at ‘equal’ relationships I decided to follow my heart and seek out a dominant man. I love submitting to him in all ways and am currently in the process of making myself lactate so he can feed off me (he makes it clear that a woman’s role is to breed and nurture).
I am happy but that tiny voice of society’s judgement is still in the back of my mind telling me I need therapy and can’t possibly be happy.
I’m hoping that by exploring this site that I can enhance my relationship further and find that what I’m feeling doesn’t make me weird.