At the start of any journey into the BDSM world, all things naughty can be both scary and exciting. The reality of BDSM is a serious lifestyle with the outcome of fun and pleasure for both the Dom and sub being euphoric.

Typically, BDSM relationships are between two people agreeing to a committed relationship. A lot of people depict and view this kind of relationship as alpha controlled, abusive and violent but in reality, it is far from that. More often than not, these couples love each other. It’s a relationship of protection, care, desire to please among other things and many times there’s no sex involved at all in the D/s sessions.

Getting roughed up is not what its all about. Its about release of pressure, tension and stress often followed by ecstasy rupturing.

A few things to be considered before you go running into a sex dungeon:

Know What you Like and Make them Known

You need to be specific. If you like it hard and rough, this could mean one thing to you and something entirely different to a potential partner. Some ass slapping and hair pulling? or rape play and flogging?

Being a submissive is as much a game of the mind as it is physical. Asking permission, being furniture, services like cooking and cleaning, orgasm restriction etc are all popular. Everything in BDSM has to be consensual although a Master/slave dynamic will change to consensual non-consent. Whatever the dynamic thought, your likes and dislikes should be made extremely clear to your Dom.

Be Wise when Choosing a Dom

Many people have wanted to try BDSM since it became more mainstream. There have been stories of both genders picking up at bars and telling complete strangers they were subs and into BDSM when, in fact, they’d never gone down the rabbit hole. Sometimes it turned into a horror story and they got more than bargained for.

Subs release trust, power and control to another person in an extremely intimate way and should make sure it’s only given to the right person.

Respect, Obedience and Please

A Dom has power and control over a sub and this is complete if the Dom is a Master and the sub a Slave. Both subs and slaves should give their Dom full attention and respect. Referring to ‘Sir’, ‘Madame’ or any other agreed upon name is one example and particularly as a slave you obey any and all commands given.

A Dom should not request anything a sub is not already happy to do if it’s been made clear by the sub of his or her limits, ie likes and dislikes. While a Dom should always have his sub’s best interests at heart, remember they’re also there to push the sub’s limits and help them reach their full potential in all areas of the relationship.

A sub’s role is to obey and please the Dom and in return receive pleasure from the Dom.

Power

If the sub doesn’t want to play, there is no game and there’s no Dom without his sub. They both exist for the pleasure of each other. Some subs derive pleasure from the Dom causing embarrassment and/or pain or simply from pleasing their Dom. The Dom gets his pleasure from controlling the sub.