Hello all!
I am in a peculiar situation. My wife and I have been married for 8 years, together 15. About 5-6 years ago we started getting into the lifestyle and just recently we started the transition into an open marriage.
There is a mutual friend of ours that I have had interest in. There has always been some type of sexual tension between us and I always assumed it was just her drunken self being flirty. Earlier this year she actually confessed that she is indeed interested and mentioned specifically that she thinks messing with D/s stuff with me would be fun.
I have dabbled here and there to try to test the waters with my wife over the past 10 or so years, but it always felt weird as she is very meek and would never push back on anything. This other women however would absolutely be challenging and the thought of that situation seriously intrigues me. Obviously I am not going to dive off the deep end with anything as it will be my first official situation like this.
My problem is that this individual HATES discussing anything like this. D/s related or sexual. Not because she is afraid too, but she is of the mindset that it is better to just let things happen, which I can appreciate to a certain extent.
So discussing/planning scenes are definitely out. But I am kind of at a loss for how exactly to go about this. The majority of what I read about D/s stuff talks about there being a balance and both sides knowing what lines not to cross, but it seems more and more evident that she want’s me to find those lines real time.
She has had me choker her harder than I ever have my wife. She has asked me to slap her face. She has made it clear that she enjoys me talking sternly to her and giving her direction.
Again, everything that I have read is telling me not to move forward because she isn’t willing to establish her boundaries. But everything about our interactions, either sexual or not, is telling me that she really wants me to push her.
Should I just go for it but err on the side of caution? Or should I take a step back because she isn’t willing to have a necessary discussion?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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